What Else is Hard

November 20, 2008 in inspiration, success | Tags: , , , | 2 comments

I got several comments on my recent post about saying “no”. Seems like it struck a chord, particularly among women who are so used to giving, giving, giving.

This got me thinking about something else that is difficult for us women to talk about: sharing what’s great in your life. Men, chime in if this topic resonates for you, too.  

When I created an organization called the Artsy Girls (more on that another time), I made bragging a keystone of our events. In addition to introducing herself, each member attending has to share an accomplishment she is proud of. It’s inspirational to everyone there and a way to ground our successes. Otherwise, careers can have a way of leap-frogging from success to success with no sense of joy, simply a feeling of “Next!”

Understand that my tagline for this group is Celebrating and Supporting Nationally Recognized Creative Women, so brags about getting published in magazines, book deals and television appearances are standard fare. However, I know for a fact that a few women bowed out of the group because they didn’t feel worthy. I knew they were, but they simply didn’t see themselves as powerfully as I saw them.

So it is with a touch of self-consciousness, due to the current economic environment, that I tell you that I’m enjoying four days at Canyon Ranch in the Berkshires. I rewarded myself, the business owner, for all the hard work I did these last few months. 

I also want to serve as a power of example for self-care. Please! Treat yourselves well, especially now, in whatever way will nourish you.

I feel restored, energized and enthusiastic to get back to my office, my clients and my plans for 2009. What are you doing to take care of and nurture your most important employee?

Doing What I Love

November 19, 2008 in inspiration, personal development, small business, start-up business, success | Tags: , , , | 1 comment

I had the opportunity to speak for WBDC Thursday night, November 13. My daughter Laura joined me and took photos (as seen here). My talk consisted of lessons learned during my 30+ years as an entrepreneur mostly the difficult way, by failing first and doing it differently. I also closely watched those who I deemed more successful than I and imitated their model.

As the audience listened to me they realized that the road to success is not sequential, smooth or pre-paved. Each of us business owners trailblaze our own path. My stories have a lot of humor, humility, judgment (usually wrong, then amended) and aha’s.

The first question asked after my presentation was about the economy and what to do in the current situation. “Forge ahead!” is my mantra these days. “Do whatever it takes.”

The most important thing is to use your gifts. Many colleagues and I have been able to keep our calendars booked and bank accounts steady with clients and orders and also fit in occasional pro bono bookings, like this talk. Others may offer special, limited-time discounts as my energy healer has for any clients who book before Thanksgiving. I recommend offering sample sessions or donating your goods or services to keep you and your business in action mode.

When you’re in the act of creation, whatever is happening in the economy will have less of an impact on you than if you’re only focusing on the fear of what’s next. Do something!

I loved talking to this group. I’m always energized by sharing what I know. See!

A Different Kind of Self-Care

November 17, 2008 in inspiration, personal development | Tags: , , | 11 comments

My good friend Jessica has a book coming out in February. She took the risk of asking Anne Lamott, one of my very favorite writers, to provide a blurb for the book jacket. The message she got back from Anne Lamott’s agent was that Anne had declared a blurbatorium–a creative and less unpleasant way of saying no to such requests.

I wasn’t completely surprised by this. I’d attended a talk by Lamott at the 92nd Street Y when her book Blue Shoe came out. She declared on the stage that night that she almost stopped writing books because of her dread of autographing them. She is a role model for how to take care of yourself in spite of others’ needs and projections. She gently and humorously tells the truth.

I love her power of example. What it demonstrates is that with creativity, grace and humor, any one of us can steer clear of tasks that weigh us down and stay focused on the work we love and thrive on.

I’m curious to hear what creative ways you’ve found to respectfully and lovingly say NO.

Sharing the Secret

November 14, 2008 in inspiration, success | Tags: , , , | No comments

I received the following letter last week. It’s a perfect example of how to begin manifesting what you really want in your life. Michelle, who heard me speak when I was touring the US with Staples, the Office Superstore, wrote to share her vision. Notice how specific and detailed it is. If anyone reading this can help, all the better.

Dear Jane,

Here is a message I am sharing with some of my friends…people who i value keeping connections with.
I have had a detailed vision of running a Spa Retreat for about 15-20 years. Since it seemed such a far reach from my current reality, I haven’t shared my ideas much. However, recently I have been guided to start sharing my dream with more people.
Briefly, this Retreat by the Sea is a place that peole can visit for a day, 3 days or a week and delight in various revitalizing therapies and experiences.
Its grounds border a beach somewhere tropical. So far the countries Mexico, Puerto Rico, Costa Rica and Panama have presented themselves as possibilities.
If you have any leads for me to create a Miracle from apparently nothing, I am open to receive. Thankfully I have alredy received tips, offers for introductions, offers to participate and the desire to be notified when it becomes reality to be pampered and inspired.
I request that you please keep this in your thoughts and prayers and send some magical energy my way.
Last but not least, thank you so much for your love and friendship.

Michelle

www.universalwellness.us

She Did It ALL Right

November 12, 2008 in inspiration, marketing, small business, success | Tags: , , | 2 comments

I just received a marketing letter from colleague Bea Schriver of Bea Schriver Florals. It was hand-addressed on her elegant, water-marked, cream-colored letterhead. It was personalized, had a call to action and a beautifully printed enclosure. Bea had reproduced a 4-page article entitled Fauxliage Tour in full color on high-quality glossy stock.

On the WOW factor scale it was a 10. I sat in the parking lot of my post office caressing the paper as I drooled over the images. Visiting her website just now got my mind actively thinking about purchasing an arrangement for my office, like the one in the image here.

Bea’s mailing made the whole process look effortless, but notice the number of accomplishments that had to be lined up to give this appearance:

  • updated website
  • a collection of work to be photographed
  • jpegs of images
  • identity kit
  • a database to send marketing pieces to
  • brochure quality press piece
  • the momentum to make it all happen

Direct mail is having a greater impact these days than the much abused email marketing. I highly recommend it to my audiences, clients and self. Try it!

Mother Hen Here

November 10, 2008 in inspiration, small business, success, support | Tags: , , , , , , | No comments

I had the privilege of visiting two open houses this past weekend. Successful Mastermind Group clients invited me to their events, both of which were beautifully mounted and exciting to witness.

Carrie Wittenstein, at right with her sons, came to my group with an idea to create products with a philosophy of passing along kindness. She envisioned developing postcards and t-shirts with her message. Take a look at Carrie’s Woudn’t It Be Nice? site to see how she expanded the idea, the b-nice projects she’s created and order some cool stuff while you’re there. Part of Carrie’s vision is to give back, which is exactly what she does when you purchase a Wouldn’t It Be Nice t-shirt or sweatshirt. A donation of $5 is given to her favorite charitable organization when you do.

Carrie’s event was Friday evening. On Saturday I had the privilege of visiting the Loft Artists Association in Stamford, CT where my client Nikki Bates–goldsmith extraordinaire–participated in their open studio weekend.

You’ll have to go to Nikki’s site to see how truly exquisite her jewelry is. When I walked into her studio, a goal she established during one of our sessions, it took my breath away. There stood Nikki looking every inch the successful artist and businesswoman surrounded by her immaculate studio (she swears she cleaned up for company!).

Her showcase was filled to the brim with magnificent gems mounted with style and craftsmanship that is unique to Nikki. In addition, she was being assisted by her mother and mother-in-law. How lucky is she to have two loving women who believe in her so much they lend their time and energy in support!

I came away from these two visits feeling reinforced in my mission to lead remarkable women to their own definitions of success.

What They’re Saying About Me

November 7, 2008 in inspiration, small business, success | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 comment

In the 10 minutes before my Mastermind Group session started a few weeks ago, my clients were chatting among themselves. The conversation was about me and what happens when others ask them about “working with Jane”.

I was all ears.

There was a lot of energy in the room as they compared notes. I heard that at a recent EWN event someone said to my Mastermind Group participant, “I hear she’s really expensive.”

My client: “Yes, but she’s worth it. This is what I’ve done since I began working with her…It’s changed my life.”

EWN Networker: “I hear she really pushes you.”

My client: “She does, and that’s why I’ve gotten to where I want to be.”

“It’s only pushing if you’re resisting.”

Then I got an email from a past workshop attendee and Mastermind Group client, Jamie Cat Callan, who further captured the experience:

I’ve been writing and publishing since 1978. But I was always the “ARTISTE.” I never publicized or thought about the business aspect of things. I didn’t care about making a living. I was all yin energy.

And then your workshop gave me a big dose of yang! Seriously, you made me understand (and the mastermind group of women) that it’s just plain foolish and unproductive to only take care of the art and neglect the business.

So I do believe that in a roundabout way, I’m on Page Six of The New York Post because you gave me that much-needed little boot in the pants!

How To Get Confidence

November 5, 2008 in inspiration, personal development, small business | Tags: , , | 3 comments

“When I have enough confidence, I’ll ________________________.” You fill in the blank. Part of coaching is finding out what’s in the blank. If you had the confidence, what would you do? What call would you make? Whose door would you knock on?

Answering these questions frees up my clients to dream big because they usually stop themselves before they even get off the starting block. What they don’t suspect (hee hee) is that they’re going to get a little push from a loving and believing mentor.

What I know about confidence is that it ebbs and flows based on how much flexing and nourishment it gets. Every time you take an action that requires confidence, the muscle grows. Afraid to pick up the phone to call for a referral? Would you rather watch the election replays than go to that networking event you signed up for?  Do it anyway and notice your confidence level. Regardless of the outcome on the other end, what you’ll want to notice and acknowledge yourself for is that you “acted as if” which is a key ingredient to success.

Self-esteem and self-confidence are increased with each esteemable action you take.  “Do it scared!” reads a sign in front of my friend’s computer which reminds that confidence is a day at a time undertaking.

My daughter, recently returned home after living in Japan for four years, was inspired by reading the line, “Do one things a day that scares you.” That’s where this whole issue of confidence came up. So, I actually wrote this entry for her.

Manage Your Feedback

November 3, 2008 in personal development, small business, success, support | Tags: , , , | 6 comments

A funny thing happens in my business. Every so often a client who left a session totally energized, on fire to reach her goals and thriving in her newfound commitment to her own success, will approach me a week or two later a bit downtrodden.

“My husband thinks that looking at office space in xyz town will change our lives too much.”

“My sister-in-law told me she thought it was too high-stakes for me to invite the press to my art opening.”

“My mentor says I’m paying the graphic designer too much for my new logo.”

Thanks for sharing, Folks.

In my Create Your Own Future workshops and retreats, and with coaching clients as well, I include a proviso: Be careful who you share your dreams with. Often and surprisingly, the very people we think would be the most supportive are the ones who may subtly sabotage the dream. They don’t do it intentionally.

However, when you’re on your path, working towards your vision, the status quo is going to get rocked. Family members and close friends may not want to have that altered. The way they create “Don’t Change!” will look different in each case. But the effect on you, the visionary, can be devastating.

The solution? Share your go-up goals, as Zig Ziglar calls them, only with those on an equally committed path to success–your goal buddies, Mastermind Group colleagues, coach and business allies. The others? When they ask about what you’re working on, just smile and say, “You’ll see…”

Coaching the Client’s Whole Life

October 31, 2008 in inspiration, personal development, small business | Tags: | No comments

One of the cornerstones of Co-Active Coaching, what I’m certified in, is addressing the client’s whole life–not just the business aspects. If I sense interference from a client’s partner, family member or other outside force I acknowledge it and bring it to the table.

I didn’t even have to bring it up in a coaching call this week. My client said that her agenda that morning included a recap of her successes and a desire to talk about her mother-in-law. I could feel my stomach turning in empathy as she described the demands being put on her by her husband and his challenging, ultra-negative mother. He wanted her to place a daily call so that his mother would not feel so alone. I asked her if she would be willing to say no.

From that moment on the level of energy in our conversation shifted. She realized she had a choice in the matter. Although she was nervous about taking that stand, she was coming from a place of empowerment. She could immediately feel the freedom in that decision and all of the possibilities it opened up for her.

Of course, I was anxious to hear how she fared after we hung up. I didn’t have to wait very long. She’s an amazing client.  She told her husband she would not be making the daily phone calls. He said, “Okay.” I wished I’d had my Staples Easy button there for her to push and celebrate that victory.

She did all the work, which is monumental, even in its simplicity. She ended her email report to me with these words:

I feel years of anxiety and stress lifting from me from all the things I have been doing.

…and then went on to describe all of the actions she was taking to move her business forward.